Scary statements when Corona forces you to stay at home: 1. Tunataka kumop nyumba. 2.Nani amekula mkate yenye ilibaki? 3. Viatu vinafanya nini hapa? 4. Watu waoge! 5.Leo ni siku gani?
Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Monday, 30 March 2020
I am reporting a case of harassment. I was innocently watching news on NTV when Jane Ngoiri winked at me, wagged her hips at me and called me ‘mpenzi mtazamaji.’
Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Saturday, 28 March 2020
1. Sam Mangwana: Suzzana Kulibali Suzzana kulibali ooh!
2. Mangelepa: Ninamlilia Suzzana, wakati sina wa kumueleza haya!
3. John Mwale: Ninamlia eh Suzzana, ninamlia eh Suzzana, alinidanganya tutaoana, nikafungwa juu ya Suzzana!
4. Sauti Sol: Suzzana bane, Senje!
Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Tuesday, 10 March 2020
When you are below 30, the things that bother you are small. Like the piece of chicken on your neighbour’s plate always being bigger than yours.
Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Saturday, 7 March 2020
Public speaking in Kenya:
Speaker 1: Chief guest, other invited guests, univited guests, neighbours, men, women, children, everybody, everything, ladies and gentlemen, blah, blah, blah, all protocol observed! Goodmorning! Goodmorning again! Please turn to your neighbours and greet them! (1 hour)
Speaker 3: Chief guest, other invited guests, univited guests, neighbours, men, women, children, everybody, everything, ladies and gentlemen, blah, blah, blah, all protocol observed! Goodmorning! Goodmorning again! Greet your neighbour! (2 hours)
Speaker 20: Chief guest, other invited guests, univited guests, neighbours, men, women, children, everybody, everything, ladies and gentlemen, blah, blah, blah, all protocol observed! Goodmorning! Goodmorning again! Please turn to your neighbours and greet them! Blah, blah, blah. With these few remarks, let me now take this opportunity to invite the chief guest to say a few words. (4 hours.)
My verdict: Kenyan audiences are the most patient, humble and forgiving on earth.Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Friday, 6 March 2020
The reason why I dont swim in public swimming pools is that I am a man who sometimes thinks about small things. Like a single drop of pool water. I think about the many places this drop has to tour before it finally lands in my mouth. Let fish swim
Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Tuesday, 3 March 2020