My three year old gentleman forced me to go on all fours in the living room. He leapt on my back like a trained horseman. He forced me to trot around like a real beast of burden. Nothing is more painful than a big bellied, bald man playing on the floor. The skin on my […]
Finally, humour has hit our courts. A court has awarded a whopping one shilling to Lilian Omollo as compensation for wrongful dismissal. It has reminded me of something. One day in 2009, I was very broke. I was minding my business under a tree when a friend called me. I jumped up. This guy owed […]
Fellow introverts.. I need advice. I have a neighbour who passes my house 1000 times a day. How many times am I supposed to greet him? I have already said good morning, good morning again, how are you, how are things, are you breathing, etc. I have also exhausted the kawaida topics like corona imezidi, […]
I will never understand why young couples are always loud, even when they are expressing some of the tested, proven and universally accepted lies that bind. I was buying lemons at KEMSA rates when I heard a girl tell a boy, “You are my world.” I looked at the boy. I wondered if the girl […]
With people working from home, it felt so good to be at the office recently. The corridors and all the nearby offices were blissfully silent like a cave that ancient prophets would have loved to retreat into. So on I worked, and did all the things that people do when they know that nobody is […]
Before Subaru owners and their car keys arrived on the scene, the social superstar was the man who carried a newspaper. In those days, newspapers opened hearts and we don’t know what else. Even if you had the added disadvantage of a pot and a bald head, carrying a newspaper gave you the added advantage […]
I have been observing social and economic distance like a good citizen. (Especially economic.) But yesterday, my owner dragged me to New Nyanza where a promotional sale was on. She selected about 10 pieces of track suits and asked me to try them on. I walked to a cubicle that had a curtain for a […]
After 40, most men will have discovered their true purpose in life. You have settled in your marriage and career. The girls who refused you when you were single have started to look for your number, hoping that you can help them to correct their 20-year mistakes. You have finally discovered where your waist is […]
In 2015, Spotlight Publishers organized a creative writing workshop for teachers in the RV, in Bomet town. I shared the podium with Prof. Ken Waliboraand Dr. Tim Arege Intereba. In his presentation, it became clear that Ken was a passionate and articulate advocate of African languages. When he rose to speak, he greeted the huge […]
Scary statements when Corona forces you to stay at home: 1. Tunataka kumop nyumba. 2.Nani amekula mkate yenye ilibaki? 3. Viatu vinafanya nini hapa? 4. Watu waoge! 5.Leo ni siku gani? Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Monday, 30 March 2020 I am reporting a case of harassment. I was innocently watching news on NTV when […]
Today I paid particular attention to a car washing machine. In less than ten minutes, the machine sprinkles lots of water, applies soap and scrabs off the dirt from the top, the sides and under the car. It negotiates the curves, corners and contours with amazing skill. I am planning to invent a similar machine […]
To sound intelligent, quote someone. For example, just say “A famous French philosopher said that all French men are French.” Posted by Mark M. Chetambe on Friday, 3 January 2020 Tired and hungry, I staggered into the supermarket to get some fruit. I wasn’t in a talking mood. I was in tired khaki trousers and an […]